Involving Family and Friends in Your Assessment Journey
Beginning an assessment for ADHD or autism can feel like an important step towards self-understanding. It is both personal and collaborative, and the people around you often play a meaningful role in helping you see the full picture of your experiences.
Here at the Autism ADHD Centre, each assessment includes a detailed conversation about how a neurodevelopmental condition may have shaped your life — past and present. You will also be asked to nominate someone familiar with your childhood and early development, such as a parent, grandparent, sibling, friend, or even a former teacher. Their insight helps our clinicians build a clearer, more rounded view of your history and strengths.
Many adults find this step both enlightening and emotional. It can bring old memories to the surface, invite new conversations, and offer a chance for family and friends to understand you in a new light.
Why Involving Others Matters
ADHD and autism often shape a person’s experience long before they are recognised. A relative or friend who knew you as a child might recall details you have forgotten — how you played, learned, or handled change. They may notice patterns that felt ordinary at the time but now make more sense.
Involving others is not about proving anything. It is about context. These shared perspectives help ensure the assessment is accurate, compassionate, and personalised. They also give the people close to you a chance to support your process, learn with you, and contribute meaningfully to your wellbeing.
How to Approach the Conversation
Talking to family or friends about your decision to seek an assessment can feel sensitive, especially if they are unfamiliar with ADHD or autism in adults. The aim is to invite curiosity and support, not debate or defensiveness.
Here’s a simple plan to guide you:
Set the scene – Choose a time and place where you can talk calmly. Let them know this is something you have thought about carefully and that you value their role in your life.
Share your reason – You might say: “I’ve noticed some lifelong patterns that I want to understand better. Having an assessment could help me make sense of them.”
Explain what’s involved – Tell them that part of the process includes gathering early developmental information. Reassure them that this is about reflection, not blame or criticism.
Invite their perspective – Ask if they would be willing to share memories or observations from your childhood or early adulthood. Emphasise that there are no right or wrong answers — it’s about building understanding together.
Encourage empathy – If they seem uncertain, you could share credible resources (such as this website, NICE guidance, or the ADHD Foundation UK) to help them understand the purpose of assessment.
Turning Support into Encouragement
The most helpful support comes from people who listen without judgement. You might say:
“What I need most right now is encouragement and patience while I go through this process.”
After your assessment, continue the conversation. Share the parts of the experience that felt meaningful or surprising. Explain how you plan to use what you’ve learned, whether that means adjusting routines, asking for reasonable adjustments at work, or simply showing yourself more compassion.
When family and friends understand that this journey is about clarity and care, not labels or limitations, they often become your strongest allies.
A Thoughtful Next Step
If you are ready to begin your own assessment, we are here to guide you with professionalism, empathy, and respect.