“Is It Just Me?”: What to Do When You Suspect ADHD Later in Life

It often starts as a quiet wondering—sometimes after reading an article, listening to a podcast, or scrolling past a reel that hits a little too close to home. A moment where you think: Hang on… is this ADHD?

Not in the way it’s often portrayed, with bouncing-off-the-walls energy or school reports full of red marks. But in the pile of half-finished to-do lists, the invisible exhaustion of masking through meetings, or the feeling that your brain is constantly juggling twenty tabs—none of them particularly silent.

At the Autism ADHD Centre, we meet successful, capable women every day who say the same thing: “I’ve managed. I’ve coped. But I’ve always felt like I was sprinting just to keep up with everyone else’s walking pace.”

You’re not alone. And you’re certainly not imagining it.

Why Now?

Many women who come through our doors have spent years—if not decades—blaming themselves for being “disorganised,” “messy,” “overly sensitive,” or “bad with time.” They’ve often built careers, managed households, raised children, led teams… and still, they carry a low hum of self-doubt. Why does it feel harder for me?

ADHD in women is often missed until later in life, particularly if you’ve done a good job of compensating. You’ve built workarounds. You’ve stayed up late finishing things others seemed to do effortlessly. You’ve spent your life second-guessing your intuition—because somewhere along the way, someone told you you were just being dramatic.

Spoiler alert: you weren’t. You were adapting. And adaptation takes energy.

The Midlife Wake-Up Call

Midlife is often the point where everything comes to a head. Hormonal changes (hello, perimenopause), increased responsibilities, and the sheer volume of invisible labour can stretch even the most well-oiled coping strategies. Suddenly, the systems that once held everything together stop working.

What’s more, many women begin to see themselves reflected in their children’s journeys. After a child is assessed for autism or ADHD, mums often start connecting the dots in their own lives—and realising those “quirks” might be something more.

It’s not about jumping to conclusions or self-labelling. It’s about looking back at your story with new information—and finally giving yourself permission to ask different questions.

What You Can Do (Three Small Steps to Start)

Whether you're feeling curious, overwhelmed, or somewhere in between, here are three practical, no-pressure places to begin if you think ADHD might be part of your story:

1. Track Your Patterns, Not Just Your Tasks

Instead of focusing on what didn’t get done, try keeping a “pattern journal” for a week. Note times of day you feel most distracted, environments that help you focus, or moments that drain you unexpectedly. This isn’t about diagnosing yourself—it’s about gathering data on you, in real life.

Patterns are powerful. You might discover that your productivity ebbs in noisy environments, or that decision-making becomes nearly impossible after 4pm. These observations can help you build self-awareness—and serve as valuable insight if you choose to pursue an assessment.

2. Create an “Unmasking” Space

If you’ve spent years blending in, masking, or people-pleasing, you may not even know what your preferences are anymore. Try carving out 15 minutes a day just for you—not for productivity, but for being. Choose something that doesn’t have a goal: listening to a nostalgic playlist, doodling, staring out the window.

Notice how you feel in that space. Safe? Restless? Calm? Rebuilding a connection with your unmasked self takes time—but it starts here.

3. Let Curiosity Lead

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you need a mountain of evidence before you seek an assessment. You don’t. You’re allowed to be curious. You're allowed to say, “I’d like to understand myself better.” That alone is reason enough.

If you’re unsure where to begin, we offer adult assessments in a calm, affirming environment. Whether you’re looking for clarity, validation, or simply a space to explore, we’re here to help.

You’re Not Behind. You’re Uncovering.

We say it often, and we’ll keep saying it: diagnosis isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about understanding what’s always been true. Your brain hasn’t failed you—it’s just been working in ways the world wasn’t designed to notice.

And while awareness is powerful, understanding is where the real shift begins. It’s where shame starts to fall away. Where “I’m just not good at this” becomes “Oh—I was never meant to do it that way.”

So if you're reading this and thinking maybe, know that your maybe matters. And when you’re ready, we’re here to listen—with clarity, care, and compassion.

Curious to learn more? Follow us on LinkedIn where we share weekly insights and resources for women navigating neurodivergence.

You’ve done more than just cope. Imagine what’s possible when you understand yourself fully.