Neurodiversity & Sexuality: Why the Overlap Matters
At first glance, it might seem surprising that neurodivergent individuals—particularly those with autism or ADHD—are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than their neurotypical peers. But for many, this intersection is not just common; it's core to how they understand and express themselves in the world.
If you or someone you love has ever felt “different” in more ways than one, this may help connect the dots.
What Does the Research Say?
Multiple studies have shown a clear link between neurodivergence and diverse sexual and gender identities. Autistic individuals, in particular, are significantly more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+. One study published in Autism Research found that autistic people were 7.6 times more likely to identify as asexual and 3.5 times more likely to identify as bisexual than the general population¹.
A separate UK-based study by the University of Cambridge found that autistic individuals were more likely to report gender diversity and non-heterosexual orientations than their non-autistic counterparts². The pattern appears to be similar for those with ADHD, though the research is still emerging.
This isn’t about correlation alone—it’s about a richer understanding of identity. Neurodivergent people often perceive and relate to the world differently, and this includes how they understand relationships, attraction, intimacy, and belonging.
Why Might This Overlap Exist?
There’s no one reason—but several theories help us understand the connection.
1. A Tendency to Challenge Norms
Many neurodivergent individuals feel less pressure to conform to societal expectations. Rather than following what’s “supposed” to be done, they often move through the world on their own terms. This can create space to explore identity and attraction more authentically.
2. Deep Sensory and Emotional Sensitivity
Autistic and ADHD brains are often more attuned to emotional and physical experiences. This heightened awareness may influence how someone experiences intimacy, connection, and comfort within their identity.
3. Social Differences That Invite Exploration
Neurodivergent people often experience the world through a lens that’s more internally referenced rather than externally motivated. This can lead to deeper introspection and openness around identity—including sexual and gender identity.
4. The “Double Minority” Effect
Being both neurodivergent and LGBTQIA+ often means navigating multiple layers of difference. This intersectionality can be a source of strength—but also of stress, especially when access to affirming healthcare and support is limited.
Why This Matters for Midlife Women
For many women, particularly those reaching midlife and only now discovering their neurodivergence, these insights can feel both comforting and destabilising. If you’ve always felt “different”—socially, emotionally, sexually—there may be a reason.
Understanding this overlap can offer language, validation, and relief. It can also invite deeper reflection: not just on who you are, but on who you’ve always been beneath the surface of masking, people-pleasing, and pushing yourself to “fit in.”
How We Can Better Support Ourselves and Each Other
1. Name the Experience
Language matters. If you’ve never had the words to describe your internal world, learning about this overlap may help. Whether you identify as queer, neurodivergent, or both—acknowledging that truth can be powerful.
2. Create or Seek Out Inclusive Spaces
Whether online or in-person, seek out communities that welcome your full self. Look for support groups or mental health professionals who understand both neurodivergence and LGBTQIA+ identities.
3. Prioritise Self-Compassion Over Performance
You don’t need to explain or justify how you feel to anyone. You don’t need to “prove” your identity. You are allowed to be complex, evolving, and multidimensional.
4. Be Mindful of Burnout
Holding multiple identities—particularly ones that are marginalised—can be emotionally taxing. Make space for joy, rest, and nourishment. You deserve it.
A Final Word
At the Autism ADHD Centre, we believe in whole-person understanding. You are not just a list of symptoms or a diagnostic category. You are layered, valid, and worthy of support exactly as you are.
The overlap between neurodivergence and sexuality isn’t something to pathologise—it’s something to celebrate. It reflects the incredible depth, openness, and richness of neurodivergent experience.
You don’t have to fit into anyone else’s box to belong. You simply have to feel at home in your own skin—and that journey is one we are honoured to support.
References:
George, R., & Stokes, M.A. (2018). Gender identity and sexual orientation in autism spectrum disorder. Autism Research. https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.1941
Warrier, V. et al. (2020). Elevated rates of autistic traits and autism in transgender and gender-diverse individuals. Nature Communications. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-020-17794-1