Wellness That Doesn’t Fit: Why Neurodivergent Women in Midlife Need a New Model

If you’ve ever felt like the typical wellness advice just doesn’t work for you—you’re not alone.
Many neurodivergent women in midlife are beginning to realise that the mainstream wellness industry wasn’t built with their brains in mind.

From mindfulness apps that demand stillness, to group fitness classes that feel socially overwhelming, to rigid morning routines that only spark more pressure—wellness, as it’s commonly sold to us, often misses the mark.

For women with ADHD or autism, the mismatch can be especially stark. By midlife, many have spent decades masking—adapting, blending in, and performing what society sees as “healthy” or “successful.” And even when they’ve done it well, it’s often come at a cost: burnout, overwhelm, identity confusion, and a gnawing sense that something still isn’t quite right.

At AAC, we believe it’s time for a different approach. One that doesn’t ask you to fit into someone else’s mould of wellbeing—but invites you to shape your own.

The Trouble with Traditional Wellness

The dominant model of wellness is often linear, prescriptive, and neurotypical by design. It assumes that you’ll be regulated by routines, relaxed by stillness, and recharged by social connection. But for neurodivergent people, those same strategies can lead to dysregulation, anxiety, or exhaustion.

A recent study by the University of Bath (Crompton et al., 2023) found that standard mental health and wellness interventions often fail to address the sensory, cognitive, and emotional experiences of neurodivergent adults—especially women, whose needs tend to be under-identified.¹

In other words, it’s not that you’re doing wellness wrong. It’s that the model itself doesn’t fit.

Reimagining What Wellness Can Look Like

Real wellbeing isn’t about hitting your step count or meditating for 20 minutes a day. It’s about living in a way that nourishes your nervous system and honours your unique rhythm.

It’s about making space for who you are—not just who you’ve had to be.

And in midlife, that can be a radical and healing shift.

So what does this look like in practice?

3 Gentle Ways to Be Well—On Your Own Terms

1. Redefine rest.
   Rest isn’t always about sleep or stillness—it might be doing a solo creative project, going for a drive, or spending time in nature where your senses feel soothed. Ask yourself: What makes my body feel calm and safe? That’s your version of rest.

2. Curate your inputs.
   Midlife is a perfect time to evaluate what’s truly nourishing. This could mean reducing sensory overwhelm (turning off background noise, wearing noise-cancelling headphones), limiting draining social engagements, or letting go of advice that doesn’t resonate. Your mind wasn’t made for constant noise. It deserves care.

3. Let go of the ‘shoulds.’
   You don’t need to do yoga, journal every morning, or go sugar-free unless those things genuinely feel good to you. There’s no universal formula for wellbeing. Instead of asking “What should I be doing?” try asking: What feels kind, useful, or meaningful for me today?

Wellness that Works with You

The truth is, wellbeing isn’t a single destination—it’s an ongoing relationship with yourself. And for neurodivergent women in midlife, that relationship can finally become more honest, more spacious, and more aligned.

You’re not behind. You’re just beginning to listen to the version of you that’s been waiting quietly underneath all the noise.

And that version? She’s wise, intuitive, and more than capable of creating her own model of what it means to truly be well.

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💬 Curious about how your neurodivergent brain might be shaping your wellbeing? At AAC, we offer supportive, adult-focused assessments to help you understand yourself better—at any stage of life.

References:
¹ Crompton, C. J., et al. (2023). Neurodiversity in mental health care: The case for co-production and tailored support. University of Bath Research Review.
² Russell, G., & Norwich, B. (2012). Dilemmas, diagnosis and de-stigmatization: Paradoxes for policy and practice. British Journal of Special Education, 39(2), 63–69.