“Should I get assessed?”

A gentle guide for midlife women considering ADHD or autism assessment.

If you’ve spent years quietly wondering “Is there something I’ve missed?” you’re not alone. Many successful, high-performing women reach midlife and begin to notice patterns that don’t fit the labels they’ve carried: the relentless mental load, sensory overwhelm after a full day, time slipping through fingers despite best intentions, or the social effort of “getting it right” at work and at home. For some, perimenopause or menopause amplifies what was once manageable. For others, a child’s assessment turns the mirror back on their own story.

This article is for anyone sitting with the question: Should I get assessed for ADHD, autism, or both? It won’t tell you what to do. Instead, it offers clear information, reflective prompts, and a transparent view of what an assessment with the Autism ADHD Centre (AAC) involves—so you can decide, in your own time, what’s right for you.

Why people consider assessment in midlife

• A shifting picture. Hormonal changes can affect attention, energy, sleep and emotional regulation—sometimes unmasking patterns linked with ADHD or autistic traits that were previously camouflaged.

• The invisible load. Years of compensating—over-preparing, masking in social settings, perfectionism—can feel heavier over time and may lead to burnout.

• A new lens. Learning more (through a loved one’s diagnosis, a workplace conversation, or reputable resources) can make past experiences “click” into place.

A diagnosis doesn’t change who you are; it can change how your story makes sense.

How might clarity help?

People describe a range of potential benefits from an assessment outcome—whether it confirms a diagnosis or not:

• Language and self-understanding. Being able to name lifelong patterns can bring relief, reduce self-blame, and guide kinder self-care.

• Targeted support. Clarity can inform reasonable adjustments at work (e.g., structured agendas, quieter spaces, flexible deadlines) and support at home.

• Joined-up planning. Understanding whether ADHD, autism—or both—are part of the picture can shape helpful strategies for focus, sensory needs, communication, and recovery from stress.

Importantly, an assessment is not a promise of medication or a particular pathway. It’s a careful exploration that can open options.

Common concerns (and compassionate perspectives)

“What if I’m ‘not autistic/ADHD enough’?”
Neurodevelopmental profiles are varied. Many women present differently from traditional (male-centred) descriptions, and it’s common to reach midlife without recognition.

“Will a diagnosis ‘label’ me?”
Some people find the language freeing; others prefer to keep it private. You remain in control of what you share and with whom.

“Will this affect my career?”
Many choose to use their report to request reasonable adjustments; others keep it for personal insight. You decide how to use the information.

“Does assessment mean I have to take medication?”
No. Medication is one option for ADHD and is not relevant to autism itself. AAC are not prescribers; if indicated, we can signpost you to appropriate medical care. Support can also include psychological strategies, environmental adjustments, coaching, or therapy.

What an AAC adult assessment involves

Our assessments are evidence-based and follow NICE guidance for ADHD and autism. They are collaborative, respectful, and paced to your needs.

1) On-boarding
You complete personal details, consent, and validated questionnaires tailored to your concerns.

2) Developmental history
With your permission, we invite input from someone who knew you in childhood (a parent, sibling, relative, teacher or long-term family friend). If this isn’t possible, we discuss alternatives.

3) Clinical appointment (face to face)
You meet an experienced Consultant Psychiatrist or Consultant Clinical Psychologist. Depending on your presentation, we may use structured tools (for example, ADOS-2 for autism, QbCheck/QbTest or other measures for ADHD) alongside a thorough clinical interview.

4) Multidisciplinary review & feedback
Your information is discussed in our weekly clinical team meeting. You’ll receive a comprehensive report explaining the findings, any diagnosis (or why criteria are not met), and personalised recommendations. A follow-up appointment—online or in person—can be arranged to talk through the outcome. If you wish us to send the report to a GP or employer, an admin fee applies.

Reflective prompts: signs to notice over time

You might find it helpful to look for patterns, not isolated moments:

• Do deadlines, unstructured time, or task-switching drain you disproportionately—even when you’re motivated?

• Do sensory environments (noise, lighting, busy spaces) leave you exhausted, irritable, or “shut down”?

• Do you prefer direct, literal communication and extra processing time—and feel stretched by rapid-fire meetings or small talk?

• Have you relied on masking or high preparation to “keep up”, with increased fatigue or burnout as a result?

• Do routines and predictable rhythms help you feel safe and effective, while sudden change spikes anxiety?

None of these are diagnostic on their own. They’re simply clues that can inform a thoughtful conversation.

What happens after an assessment?

Whatever the outcome, you leave with a clearer map. For some, that looks like workplace adjustments, coaching, or therapy. For others, it includes discussions with a GP about ADHD medication, or referrals to community resources. At AAC, we work with you to outline a bespoke post-assessment plan that fits your context and values.

So… should you get assessed?

Only you can answer that. A helpful question might be: Would a clearer understanding of my neurodevelopmental profile change how I care for myself, ask for support, or plan my work and home life?
If the answer is “yes—or maybe”, an assessment could be a meaningful next step.

When you’re ready to explore, we’re here—kindly, carefully, and without rush.

References & further reading

• NICE (2018, updated). Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: diagnosis and management (NG87).

• NICE (2021, updated). Autism spectrum disorder in adults: diagnosis and management (CG142).

• National Autistic Society (2023). Autism and co-occurring conditions; women and girls.

• ADHD Foundation UK (2023). ADHD in women and girls—recognition and support.

• Royal College of Psychiatrists (2023). Autism and ADHD in adults: information for the public.

(General educational content; not a substitute for personalised medical advice.)