Travelling Well with a Neurodivergent Brain (and Family)

Airports, stations, timetables, unfamiliar beds, new smells… travel can be joyful—and also a lot for a sensitive nervous system. If you’re a midlife woman who is autistic or has ADHD (diagnosed or curious), and/or you’re travelling with neurodivergent children (as I do), this guide offers gentle, practical ways to reduce stress and protect everyone’s energy without losing the magic of the journey.

No prescriptions here—just ideas you can adapt to suit you.

Before you book: design for your nervous system

Choose “low-friction” travel.
If flying feels intense, consider trains or driving at quieter times. If you do fly, off-peak flights (first wave of the morning or late evening) often mean calmer terminals.

Pick the right base.
Look for accommodation with:

• A kitchenette (control over food = fewer surprises)

• Blackout curtains or eye masks

• A quieter room (ask for one away from lifts/bars/roads)

• Laundry access (fresh, familiar clothes can be soothing)

Plan anchor points, not minute-by-minute schedules.
Choose one “must-do” per day and keep the rest open. Build in recovery buffers (a slow morning after a busy day; a park stop between museums).

Note your “likely stressors”.
Common ones: queues, crowds, fluorescent lighting, temperature shifts, strong scents, hunger, and decision fatigue. Name them now so you can plan around them.

Paperwork & support (UK-friendly)

Hidden Disabilities Sunflower.
Many UK airports, rail operators and attractions recognise the Sunflower lanyard as a discreet signal that you may need extra time, space, or clear information.

Airport/rail assistance.
You can pre-book assistance for airports via the airline/airport website, and for UK rail with the Passenger Assistance app or through your train operator. This can include help through stations, priority lanes at security, and boarding support.

Seating and access.
Request quiet-zone train carriages where available, aisle/forward-facing seats, or rooms on lower floors. Small adjustments can make a big difference.

(Always check the latest details with the specific airport, station or operator.)

Pack a calm kit (for adults and kids)

• Noise management: noise-cancelling headphones, earplugs

• Light/sensory: sunglasses, brimmed hat, soft scarf/hoodie

• Comforts: familiar snacks, chewing gum/chewelry, fidgets, a small weighted scarf or lap pad

• Regulation: lavender roller, menthol stick, tissues, water bottle

• Navigation/help: simple visual schedule, index cards with key phrases (e.g., “I need a quiet space”, “Please speak slowly”), charger & power bank

• Sleep: eye mask, travel pillow, white-noise app, magnesium flakes for a foot soak where possible

For younger travellers, add stickers/colouring, a new tiny toy for “novelty dopamine”, and a “first-then” card (e.g., “First security, then snack”).

Travel-day rhythm

Eat early and often.
Blood-sugar dips fuel dysregulation. Plan snack stops before queues.

Protect your senses.
Headphones on before you enter busy spaces. Sunglasses under harsh lights. A dab of a familiar scent under your nose can mute strong odours.

One communicator.
If travelling as a group, nominate one person to speak to staff and handle documents. Reduces competing instructions and decision overload.

Micro-regulation breaks.
Two minutes of box breathing in the loos. A shoulder roll while you queue. Five mindful sips of water. Tiny resets compound.

Name it, normalise it.
If overwhelm rises: “This is a lot. We’re safe. Let’s find quiet, sit, sip water, and reset.” Shame grows in silence; regulation grows in permission.

On holiday: keep energy in the green zone

Hold your anchors.
Keep one or two home routines (morning stretch, evening tea, wind-down playlist). Predictability calms the nervous system.

Plan “soft landings”.
After excursions, return to the accommodation for decompression: dim lights, quiet time, familiar TV, or parallel play/reading.

Create a sensory-friendly corner.
A chair by a window with headphones and a blanket can become a daily sanctuary.

Choose joy over “shoulds”.
It’s okay to skip the crowded attraction and picnic in a shady square. Your holiday, your rules.

If you’re travelling with children

Prime—don’t surprise.
Short social stories, simple maps, or a YouTube walkthrough of the airport can reduce uncertainty. Offer “job roles” (ticket helper, snack monitor) to give agency.

Use “first–then” language.
“First we go through security, then we watch a video.” Clear, concrete, and time-bound.

Respect sensory breaks.
Find quiet corners early. Some airports and museums have designated quiet spaces—ask on arrival.

Meltdown plan.
Agree who supports the child and who manages luggage/queue. Pre-decide phrases (e.g., “We’re stepping out to regulate; we’ll rejoin shortly”) to reduce on-the-spot thinking.

ADHD-specific travel tips

Tame time-blindness.
Set multiple alarms with labels (Leave house / Check-in closes / Boarding). Use a timer for “five-minute tidy and go”.

Externalise everything.
Keep a shared list (Notes app) for passport/wallet/phone/meds, and tick it every transition.

Dopamine on purpose.
Build in small, predictable pleasures (good coffee spot, postcard hunt, evening swim) so the brain doesn’t chase novelty at unhelpful moments.

Autism-specific travel tips

Control the controllables.
Request plain bedding (or bring your own pillowcase), travel with a known body wash/shampoo, and pre-approve one or two restaurants with predictable menus.

Signals save energy.
Agree a non-verbal “I need quiet/space” signal with travel companions. You don’t have to explain every time.

Script a few phrases.
If direct language helps: “I’m not able to chat just now, thank you,” or “I need clearer instructions, please.” Scripts reduce cognitive load.

If overwhelm still happens

No need to feel like you’ve failed! Travel is a sensory and executive-function marathon.

• Find a quieter area (stairwell, baby-change room, empty gate, outside bench).

• Sit, lower visual input (cap/hood), reduce sound (headphones), sip something cold or warm.

• Co-regulate: slow breathing together—inhale for 4, hold 2, exhale for 6.

• Reset expectations for the day. It’s okay to pivot.

Tools you might find helpful

• Passenger Assistance (UK rail) to pre-book help

• Hidden Disabilities Sunflower lanyard/card

• Citymapper / National Rail / Trainline for clearer routes and disruption alerts

• Calm/Headspace/Breathe for quick guided regulation (if useful)

• Google Maps “lists” for pre-selected quiet cafés and parks

A word on self-permission

You don’t have to “keep up” with someone else’s idea of a perfect holiday. Travel can be nourishing on your terms: slower, simpler, softer—yet still memorable.

If, while reading this, you’ve recognised long-standing patterns that go beyond travel, it may be worth exploring an adult assessment for autism and/or ADHD. Understanding your profile can be profoundly validating—and it helps tailor support for future trips, work, and daily life.

At the Autism ADHD Centre, we offer thoughtful, evidence-based adult assessments and post-diagnostic guidance. If you’re curious, you can learn more about our process here.

Warm wishes for calmer journeys—and kinder itineraries.